Finding the right person for marriage.

“How do I get into marriage?” is the first question you must ask. The answer is in Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

“Whoso findeth …” not, “Whoso prayed for” or “Whoso his father giveth a wife…”
Finding a wife is a conscious act. It doesn’t happen in a sleep or dream. You enter into marriage with your sense alive. You consciously engage yourself in a finding process, by opening your mind and eyes to locate who you can spend your lifetime with.

The finding process is not spiritual, but a practical one. You open your eyes wide to find a partner. After finding, you evaluate what you have found, if it is what you really want or not.

On the whole, there are two basic criteria for determining whom to marry.

Must be a Believer in God

No matter the counsel, dream, or vision, there is no meeting point between a Believer and a sinner. The Abrahamic covenant demands that you marry among your kinsmen only. You’re not permitted to marry strangers. In simple language, the unbeliever is out of the question for a believer, no matter how you feel about it or how much you would have loved to. The bible is plain on this. According to 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”

Considering an unbeliever for marriage is completely out of the question, no matter how well you are convinced that someday he or she will be submitted to your Faith in God. If you go into relationship with an unbeliever, it is easier for you to backslide into his or her environment of sins than you to get him converted into a Believer. This is because it is easier it is physically easier to be pulled down from a height than to be pulled up from a well or valley.

It is also Unscriptural for you to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. No matter what possession the unbeliever has, he is out of the way. Even if she is the most beautiful lady on earth, she is out of the way. Even if you claim he looks gentle, there are many gentle devils. A gentleman does not mean a saved believer. You may say, “In fact, since I knew him, he has never hurt a fly.” You will be the first fly he hill hurt! You don’t need to pray or think about considering an unbeliever as a marriage partner. God gave us brain so we can let Him rest. God doesn’t listen to prayers that negate His Word. God doesn’t respond to a supplication that contradicts to His declaration when He created heaven and earth.




Must be in agreement

The second criterion for making your choice on whom to marry is agreement. The Bible says in Amos 3:3, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

You ask yourself, “Do we agree? Are we working towards a common goal?” If you desire a successful home, then you must sincerely answer these questions. You don’t need prayer to be able to answer them. If a person is bothered about your prayer life, then you are not heading in the same direction. If she feels uncomfortable when you read the Bible, then you should not bother about her. If your going to church is a concern to him, you might end up in a shrine. If he can’t stand your relations, you can’t have a good home.


“Are we agreeable?” Answering this question has a lot to do with your ability to analyze issues. After these two criteria have been met, then you can make your choice of a marriage partner. Don’t be afraid to make your choice, because even God respect your choice as said in Deuteronomy 30:19, “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:



…….to be continued.